Say YES to Life!

Look in the mirror. Say the word “yes” and watch how your whole face lights up, from your crinkly eyes to your sincerely wide smile.

 Now say the word “no.” Even when you say it nicely, look how stony your face becomes. Your eye light dims, the curtains come down and your energy plummets.

Now, sometimes a big loud No is entirely necessary. We must always use good judgment and exercise our discretion; that’s what they’re there for. Healthy boundaries are good.

But as we get older, we tend to get set in our ways—whether we like those ways or not. And let’s admit it: many times we say No out of sheer laziness. Or habit. Or maybe we say No out of fear: fear of the new, fear we won’t like it or fear of failing. And those aren’t great reasons to possibly deprive yourself—or someone else—of a wonderful new experience.

 If you enjoy improvisational comedy, you’ll know that the actors  take a spontaneously suggested situation and build on it by thinking “yes, and …” That’s what builds the comedy, the drama, the interesting interaction. Yes and.

 So let’s run through a few scenarios.

 1.  Your new neighbor asks if you’d like to start a book club with her. Your first thought is No. That sounds like work. It may involve vacuuming and making snacks. And you just met—what if you don’t like her?

 But ask yourself: Do you like books and wish you read more of them? Yes?

 Do you enjoy intelligent conversation with people, whether you know them or not? Yes?

 Would you prefer to be more social and possibly make new friends? Yes?

 There’s your decision. It’s a solid YES!

 2.  Your niece thinks you’re the smartest person she knows and has requested your help in writing her college applications. Nothing about that sounds fun. Plus you’ll have to break the news that your beloved niece’s grammar is terrible.

But ask yourself: Do you love your niece and would you love spending more time with her? Yes?

Do you enjoy writing, being creative and productive? Yes?

Do you generally feel good when you help people? And does this particular person really need a wake-up call about her lamentably poor grammar? Yes?

Then say YES!

 3.  Your partner desperately wants to go to Greece and he’d like you to go with him. This requires planning, and packing, and energy expenditure. You feel tired just thinking about it. Plus you’d need new footwear.

 On the other hand, you love your partner and enjoy traveling together, yes? And pre-pandemic, you used to adore travel, yes?

 And you thrive on ancient history and brilliant blue water and feta cheese, right?

 Plus it’s GREECE! Weren’t you the one who’d first suggested it, long ago? Yes?

 That’s another big YES!

See how easy this is? Let’s recap.

 “Yes” looks better.

         We’ve done the mirror test. Yes is definitely more attractive.

 “Yes” feels better.

 When you said Yes while looking in the mirror, how did you feel? More energetic, more optimistic, more open-minded? Yes, you did.

 “Yes” is often easier.

 Saying No involves excuses, often fabricated. Excuses take a lot of energy to invent, and then you have to remember them. It’s usually easier to just say Yes.

 ‘Yes’ is more interesting.

 Remember the first rule of improv: “Yes, and.” People enjoy improv because it’s exciting and entertaining and funny. “No” is none of those things.

 “Yes” can be contagious.

 Humans are social creatures. Our thoughts and actions are affected by those around us. Be the disruptor of the same-old, same-old.

 Be an influencer! Say Yes to life! YES!