Love is in the Air
17 Ways to Show Love from 6 Feet Apart
Love still makes our world go ‘round, but Covid has turned us upside-down. We used to hug, kiss and shake hands; now we’re waving from a distance. At some point—one hopes soon—we’ll be able to physically reconnect but in the meantime, how do we show love to our families, friends, neighbors and ourselves while adhering to safe social distancing?
1. Put your own mask on first. Everyone who loves you—or likes you, needs you, enjoys you—wants you to be 100 percent healthy. To maintain your good health please follow CDC guidelines and keep up the basics of sound sleep, rounded diet and sufficient exercise. Daily sunshine is also important.
2. Cut everyone—including yourself—a break. Times are tough. Nearly everyone is doing the best they can in previously unfathomable circumstances. If you’re a superhero, acute stress will bring out the very best in you. If you’re a human, probably not. We’re all fallible and vulnerable and, most importantly, we’re all in this together.
3. Starving for social contact? Reach out and touch someone over the phone. Pre-pandemic, phone calls were replaced by time-saving texts, but now we have plenty of time. Bring back the phone call! When we’re feeling alone and disconnected, voice-to-voice contact is the next best thing. Call an old friend, a new friend, someone you’ve been meaning to catch up with for ages. It’ll make your day and theirs, too.
4. Video chats let us see the faces we miss so much. If you have Apple devices, you can use FaceTime (it’s easy). If you have an Android phone, you can use Skype or Google Duo. Then there’s Zoom, an app originally created for off-site business meetings that people now use for socializing. Ask your nearest nine-year-old to explain. Once you’re video-call savvy, you can video chat one-on-one or in groups. And remember: no one expects you to look fantastic. Everyone’s hair is a mess.
5. If you’re able to put on a mask and get to the supermarket, ask a relative or neighbor for their grocery list. You can safely leave their groceries outside their door, perhaps with a bonus candy bar or potted tulip.
6. Tired of your own cooking? If you have extra cash, order take-out meals from a favorite restaurant for yourself and a friend. Then, over video, you can share a virtual restaurant meal! Get out the cloth napkins and uncork the wine!
7. Have a loved one in a nursing facility or retirement community where physical visits are temporarily taboo? Call the facility and see if they permit through-a-closed-window or patio visits. In the closed-window case, remember that everyone needs the ability to hear well.
8. Do you have bookish friends? Now’s a great time to start a book club over Zoom. It’s a fun way to keep our brains stimulated and to introduce the friends we’ve long thought would like each other!
9. If you’re handy, handmade gifts are fun to make, fun to send, and a joy to receive. A knitted blanket for chilling with Netflix will keep grandma warm in body and heart.
10. If you like poring through photographs, make a personal scrapbook for a close friend or favorite relative. There’s lasting love on every page.
11. For the adventurous who find family lineage intriguing, there are online ancestry sites. You can give memberships to yourself and family members. Caveat: there’s always a chance you’ll discover information you’d rather not know. Maybe you’re really not 90 percent Italian. Maybe your dad isn’t really your dad. This is tricky territory but for the intellectually fearless detective, it’s fascinating. And it just might clear up some lifelong questions.
12. Give gifts of music and streaming video services like Netflix or Hulu. You and a friend can watch favorite movies together over the phone, like “When Harry Met Sally.” It worked for them; it can work for you.
13. If you’re in a 12-step or other recovery group, meetings with fellow members are the lifeblood of your recovery, and Zoom is your lifeline to meetings. Alcoholics and addicts are prone to isolation in the best of times, so if you’re feeling restless, irritable and discontent, find an online meeting and log on! There are thousands of meetings 24/7. If you have a friend whose sobriety is shaky, make a date and meet them at an online meeting, just as you’d do in real life. The bad news is, alcoholism never takes a holiday. The good news is: you can now attend meetings around the world without leaving your living room. https://aa-intergroup.org/oiaa/meetings/
14. If you live with your family or roommates and you’re all home from work and school, you might be seeing a bit too much of each other. In that case, the best way to show love could be the gift of privacy and space. Everyone needs alone time. Don’t wait to be asked.
15. Is romance possible during Covid? Yes, it’ll just grow slooowly, which can be a good thing. You’ll court old-school by phone, text and email, which lets you get to know one another before launching a physical relationship. And by the way, love letters—actual letters on paper, written in pen—are lovely.
16. In fact, three-dimensional cards and letters are a lovely way to let anyone and everyone know you’re thinking of them. Life is fleeting. Tell someone you love them, in writing.
17. Finally, give up the idea of perfection. These are unusually stressful times. Right now, “good enough” is great. Accepting the limitations of everyone in your life—including yourself—is love in action.
A hidden benefit to enforced isolation is that we’re forced to work harder to maintain our relationships. In loving others more deliberately, we may love more deeply. Love may just win the day.